I wanted to be Devin Friedman’s black friend first!

Lionsgate and Harpo Films Say Yes to WILL YOU BE MY BLACK FRIEND? Starring Chris Rock [Yahoo Finance]

Dear Devin Friedman [Tallulah Bankhead]

Blogging Bill Clinton’s appearance on ‘The Daily Show’…

I wonder if Bill will talk about Chris Rock’s jokey joke on Letterman last night?

I’m definitely taping Chris Rock’s special Kill The Messenger this Saturday.

I love Chris Rock but I bet he won’t be sleeping with crazy chicks any time soon…

after having to testify in the Anthony Pellicano trial today. Sometimes sex with the hot and insane ain’t worth it!

Crazy gets all the play.

Do not look directly into her eyes.

Do all men want to have sex with the craziest women?

Men, famous and not so famous, seem to want the loopiest girl to fall on their (hopefully) sheathed penises. The girl who fakes pregnancies, makes false accusations of rape, believes in extortion as a life calling is never, ever lonely.

Add Chris Rock to the list of men who know Tallulah ain’t lying.

In the course of the Anthony Pellicano trial*, all was revealed how Chris met his ‘dream’ woman in a taped phone call between Chris and Anthony. According to HuffPo:
During her testimony in court, Tarita Virtue, an ex-Pellicano employee, recalled working on a matter for Rock, a client of Mr. Pellicano’s, although she claims she never transcribed the calls. Ms. Virtue testified that while she was working for Mr. Pellicano, Chris Rock contacted the investigator to find out information on Monica Zsibrita. After a one night stand with the comedian in late 1998, she first claimed to be pregnant with his child (which proved to be false), then alleged her one-night stand with Mr. Rock had not be consensual. This conversation between Mr. Rock and Mr. Pellicano is alleged by prosecutors to have been recorded by Mr. Pellicano.

Rock married wife Malaak in November 1996 but claimed the two were separated at the time of his liaison with Zsbrita. During the call Rock admits taking Zsibrita to LA’s Ivy restaurant for dinner, taking her to Guy Oseary’s for a dinner party with Madonna, Elisabeth Shue and Shue’s baby, and to having consensual sex with Zsbrita at the Beverly Hills Hotel. At the time the below conversation took place, there was still a dispute over DNA testing, as she had kept a Kleenex in her freezer with what she claims was Rock’s semen on it.

Who saves semen in a Kleenex in a freezer? For what? A little f**k trophy? A supposed meal ticket? And how do you get the semen from the freezer to your uterus if that’s your goal? Did Chris request a Spitzer**?

The transcript is enlightening with its references to rubbers, white pants and big tits. My favorite part:

30:05
CR: Rape is just fucking, buzz, you know?… Once your accused of rape, you’re just FUCKED, you know?
AP: That’s why i want to blacken this girl up, totally. I want to make her out to be a lying, scumbag, manipulative cocksucker… Stupid bitch
CR: I’m fucked. I’m better getting caught with needles in my arm. WAY better. Needles, with pictures, there’s Chris Rock shooting heroin. Much better blow to the career.

Well, Chris, you chose to put your man sausage into a crazy woman. How exactly did you expect it to end?  Did you think unicorns and butterflies would appear after you came?

*For everything you wanted to know about the Anthony Pellicano trial, go to Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood Daily.

**Condom free sex.