I saw Revolutionary Road last night.
The film, based on the 1961 novel by Richard Yates, is a story of the tyranny of expectations and ordinariness. April (Kate Winslet) and Frank Wheeler (Leonardo DiCaprio), the unhappily married couple at the heart of the story, live in Connecticut in a nicely, appointed house with two children and a stifling sense of failure.
They have achieved the American dream at the expense of their vague belief that they were special and deserved to have a fuller life. In flashback scenes, it is intimated that April wanted to be an actress and Frank wanted to be anything but what he became — a salesman at the sam business machine company where his father worked. After April crashes and burns in her debut with a neighborhood theater group, she becomes convinced that moving to Paris will save her and her husband from their conformity.
April is wrong.
Very wrong.
Now, here’s where I stop recounting plot because I want anyone reading this to see the film. To make up their own minds.
But to my mind, the film is good because it doesn’t shy away from what can happen when people realize they are ordinary. When April is confronted with the truth that she’s not an undiscovered talent that has been thwarted by an unplanned pregnancy, she flips out. She turns her self-loathing onto her husband who feels a vague dissatisfaction with his life but accepts it.
Watching April struggle with her realization and boredom, I was reminded of the Laura Brown character in The Hours. She was another woman who felt trapped by circumstance (in her situation, it was that she was driven nutty by her inability to live her life as a lesbian). But instead of succumbing to rage and regret, Laura Brown leaves. It’s heartbreaking that she leaves her family but it’s also heartbreaking to imagine her staying.
Watching April and Laura and Betty Draper struggle to manage the expectations and limitations of their lives makes me wonder sad that marriage and motherhood was such a straitjacket for women during that time.
Unlike now.
Well, not exactly.
A conversation with a thirtysomething first time mother to be reminded me of the pressure and pitfalls that await any woman who finds herself deciding to become a parent. The mom to be said that if her husband does stuff for the baby, it will be marveled at because he is presumed to be tapping into new skills. But she knew if she did the same, it would be treated as an every day occurrence because well, she’s just supposed to know how to be a mom and enjoy every minute of it.
So even though women today do have the option of exploring their inner light and talents to the fullest while also being parents, the belief is that one job should come naturally while the other needs to be learned and cultivated.
That is so messed up.
Now, back to the lives of Betty, Laura and April . It makes sense that there is a queasiness watching them fight their confinement. I can’t say that there aren’t moments of pleasure to be had, but the moments are always followed by some karmic gender boomerang that puts them back at square one — seeking while miserable.
On Mad Men, Betty Draper has sex with Don, the cheating husband she kicked out (of the house he pays for!), on the floor of her parents’ during a lull in their marital skirmish. Post-coitus, she reminds him that nothing has changed so no he cannot come home. Fast forward to the season finale, she reveals to him that she is pregnant for the third time and although, it is unclear, I guess he will be returning home for good. But will he be welcomed?
Laura from The Hours left. Best thing she did, although her children grew up bereft. In my heart, as I watched the movie, I felt if she didn’t leave she would have killed them and herself. It is better to leave than to commit murder.
And April. Oh April suffers the worst fate of all. She knows that she can’t lie to herself about being ordinary being good enough any longer.
Like Men Betrayed – Revisiting Richard Yates “Revolutionary Road” [New Yorker]
