UPDATE – Tonight was the first time the product placement in…

30 Rock turned me off.

It was the scene where cross class lovers Jack and Elisa share a  McDonalds McFlurry (a frozen ice cream combo of  paste and cat food  that is not as good as a Wendy’s Frosty, btw).

I know the show has to be paid for but why McDonalds?

But Jane Krakowski doing her best Michael McDonald was priceless.

It wasn’t product placement — just a weird off storyline! [Gawker.com]

If I were Oprah Winfrey, I would weigh 200 pounds too.

If I were Oprah Winfrey….

I would hire the Magnolia Bakery owner to bake treats for me 24 hours a day.

I would fund a news program that debunked every single lie that slithered out of sewage spewing mouths of Sean Hannity,  Rush Limbaugh and Mike Huckabee  The program would also highlight the incestuous connections that poison mainstream media.

I would give Joe Lieberman and Governor Hot Rod millions to retire.  Just go away!

I would make Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart have dinner with me once a month because no one says no to me.  They would have to dress up and perform skits written by me!

I would play passive aggressive practical jokes on  Rupert Murdoch, Tina Brown, Arianna Huffington and Jann Wenner.  Just because.

I would build a separate house and hire  a full-time dog walker  for my dog, Morpheus.

I would make Ben Silverman create a show around the Midwest Teen Sex Show.

I would find a way to have Donald Trump deported to Zimbabwe.  Ha ha Mugabe, he’s your problem now!

I would have Joe Conason read me bedtime stories.

I would have Grace Jones perform for me on my birthday.

I would buy a private island, rename it Oprahphenia and have people perform interpretative dances to win an invitation to be considered for a visit.

I would pay the following ‘actresses’ to stop ‘acting’:  Jessica Biel, Kate Hudson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton.  They can do ad campaigns and show up to nightclubs instead.

I would kill anyone who airs The Hills.  Not maim. Not blind with acid.  K-I-L-L. And most likely feed their body to Morpheus.

I would build a house with indoor plumbing, cable and the Internet here.

And I would have  fried chicken, chocolate cupcake and champagne for dinner every night!

Photo via american-buddha.com

Tina Fey is going to be on Letterman tonight.

Yay!

I didn’t watch the Emmys and considering how much television I watch…

(yes, I’m one of the carbon based lifeforms who watched that awful Rachel Zoe show on Bravo), I should have been all up in the Emmys with some champagne and chicken wings.

Good for the 30 Rock and Mad Men (two of my favorite shows) wins but I must admit being more consumed with the nuts and bolts of real life is taking precedence over the career triumphs of characters I only know via an oversized television screen.   Lately, the hope that the audience (okay, me) will be so invested in a TV show that I want to celebrate its real world successes seems kinda lame to me.

I could be using that time to do anything else other than bask in the media created frenzy of who wins, who loses and who wore what.

And now I can return to maintaining a healthy respectful relationship with my television.

Does this mean I’m growing up?

AOL Television’s of Emmy Awards ‘08

Oprah is definitely going to be on ‘30 Rock’ this season!

She taped the episode last Saturday.  I am so excited and CANNOT WAIT for November 6th.  And no,  it’s not lost on me that this is the Thursday after Election Day so either I will need to watch ‘30 Rock’ to pull me out of a deep depression or continue a joyous celebration.

Oprah Tapes Her ‘30 Rock’ Guest Spot [Chicago Tribune]

Watching ‘SNL’ this weekend convinced me more than ever…

that their writing team has ceded the world of biting, incisive political satire to ‘The Daily Show’, ‘The Colbert Report’ and ‘Real Time With Bill Maher.’

Because the best skit on show was the opening with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton.  After that it was all downhill.

Tina Fey, thank you for….

MILF Island.

Movie I may pay money to see…

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler in Baby Mama

I’m watching Aisha Tyler on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson and she’s…

….a non stop riot!

I want more of her!

Tallulah is going to gather her pennies so she can see Tyler  in New York (she’s on the show to promote her upcoming appearance at the Mohegan Sun but I don’t think I can handle a trip to the Sun.)

 Note to Tina Fey: Don’t book Britney, book Aisha on 30 Rock!

“Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new president, bitch.”

-Tracy Morgan
Enjoy!