BREAKING NEWS… ASHANTI SPEAKS ABOUT THE UNIVERSAL CRIME NETWORK WEBSITE*!

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‘I have no excuse but you, my public, must understand what forced me to sign on to such an stupid idea as the Universal Crime Network. You see, this is Beyonce’s fault. If she didn’t make it hard for the marginally talented to maintain a recording career, I wouldn’t have to resort to this kind of ish. I’M BARELY HANGIN ON TO A CAREER NOW, THANKS TO EQUALLY MARGINALLY TALENTED RIHANNA!

If only Beyonce would get pregnant or something, then I would have a chance to actually sell my watered down version of beats and yelping to the masses.

BUT NO.

She won’t take a break so girls like me could get their money on. So I ask that all of you who are offended, put the blame where it belongs: ON BEYONCE.

Thank you.

-Ashanti Shequoiya Douglas.

*The real apology.

They took the site down, y’all [MTV.com]

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