Tallulah’s Nightlife Dos and Donts

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OH goodness.  Why must I indulge in such a trite subject?  Because even in the year 2008, people are still acting like the king and queen of the doofi when they go out after midnight.  Because going out to dance, have a couple of drinks and chat up strangers doesn’t mean anyone need to  leave their social graces at the door.

So I’ve compiled an extremely biased list (with the help of some friends) of the dos/donts of nightlife. Presented with love and rhythm:

Tallulah’s Nightlife Dos & Donts

Dos

  • Do bring breath mints or gum with you.  Dancing and drinking leads to a lot of talking (even if its superficial blather) and bad breath a buzz killer.  The worst kind of buzz killer.  It is a downer to see a guy dispatching his best lines to a woman and smelling his awful breath from across the room. YUCK!
  • Wear lipstick.
  • Be nice to everyone.  Think of it as good nightlife karma.
  • Dance hard to any song you’ve requested the DJ to play.  First of all, DJs hate it when people request songs because it’s considered an insult to their aesthetic.  But to request the song and then slink off to the edge of the dance floor and watch the DJ spin the song, that’s just pathetic.
  • Tip the bartenders. You don’t have to swap spit with them or find out their mother’s maiden names but tipping is a good way to maintain a healthy balance to the liquor dispensor and liquor imbiber relationship.
  • If you are not on the guest list, pay the cover or go home.  Again, if you are not on the guest list, pay the cover or go home.
  • Realize that last call means last call.

Donts

  • Wear white sneakers.  It’s not a good night look.
  • Take a drink on the dance floor.  It can lead to spills, broken glass, wasted liquor.  Can’t have that.
  • Litter. When people litter, it makes me think that they have been raised by wolves and Sarah Palin. It is a filthy disgusting habit to practice and people need to stop it.
  • Pull strangers onto the dancefloor to dance to YOUR song.
  • Vomit in front of the club.  Walk around the corner and do it if a toilet is too good for you.
  • Piss off the person at the door.  It’s not worth it.

This isn’t a comprehensive list so if you have anything to add or disagree, please hit me in the comments.


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4 thoughts on “Tallulah’s Nightlife Dos and Donts

  1. Rock Star

    here’s another one — don’t bring shopping bags with you to the club. if you can’t make it home to drop off your century 1 purchases before you hitting the spot, maybe you should take them to your office or check them? it’s just kind of tacky to me.

  2. jack

    Bad breath? If you’re out on the town and you don’t have liquor breath maybe you get the altoid out of your bum.

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