#throatpunchtuesday: I feel weird that I feel this way but…

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“When I watch a movie, or see a play, or read a funny article, all I can think about is how much I want to tell you about it. I just want to tell you about everything. If that’s not a good enough reason to be together, I don’t know what is.”

I feel weird that I want to have someone in my life that I can share this kind of stuff with and who looks forward to doing the same with/for me. I feel weird and worried about it because sometimes, I don’t know if it’s going to happen. I worry that I can do my best, become the bestest me ever and somehow, that piece of life with heads over heels love, trust and fidelity will elude me.

every time it snows, i become a romantic. it’s bizarre but kinda sweet.

what i want and what i need may be two different things.

It’s scary and I have to go lie down now.

and the last #cheesysongoftheday for 2012 is….

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Cheesy Song of the Day, December 31:

‘Feel Again’ One Republic

In the beginning, I was gutted and fucked up. Heartbroken. Depressed. Angry.

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That was my mental state on January 1, 2012.  I have so much to say but don’t know how to say it yet.

Even all the tears I shed….

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Small scream

Small scream (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Cheesy Song of the Day, December 11:
‘Memory Chest’ Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

I apologize — I have missed some cheesy songs selections.  They are selected — I’ve just been busy with work stuff to do the posting. I promise to post them all before 2012 comes to a definitive close.  I heard today’s Cheesy Song on a Classic R&B radio channel and my gut is saying I heard it at the right time. Pause for a moment of hardcore bloggus narcissisus.

As I was reviewing the events and song selections of the past 11 months,  I started to feel that my subconscious self (?) selected songs that provided a safe, distancing buffer for how emotionally devastated I was (and in some ways) still am. A cushion for my heart. Dianne Reeves ‘Company’ comes to mind.   I selected it in February at a particularly low point, but I listened to it today and it’s meaning for me became a little bit clearer.
I’ve been carrying a lot of fear that was dressed up to look like cosy comfortable company.  Now that I know the fear is the fear, what do I do? Especially if it’s not so eager to jump into the memory chest?

What’s YOUR Cheesy Song of the Day?

one thing leads to another, too late to run for cover….

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security blanket cheesy song of the day

Cheesy Song of the Day, July 20:

Too Close For ComfortSammy Davis Jr.

I select the song because my emotions are too close for comfort. Anxiety, insecurity, doubt, worry, fear, more anxiety are all at the surface and I want to shake them off.  For good. But that’s not life, right?  In my rational mind, I know that my feelings aren’t facts, just temporary phases.  But in my emotional vulnerable needy mind, I just want a security blanket.

What’s YOUR Cheesy Song of the Day?

Pic via.

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore…

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Cheesy Song of the Day, May 23: ‘The FearLily Allen

She said it all.