#throatpunchtuesday: I feel weird that I feel this way but…


“When I watch a movie, or see a play, or read a funny article, all I can think about is how much I want to tell you about it. I just want to tell you about everything. If that’s not a good enough reason to be together, I don’t know what is.”

I feel weird that I want to have someone in my life that I can share this kind of stuff with and who looks forward to doing the same with/for me. I feel weird and worried about it because sometimes, I don’t know if it’s going to happen. I worry that I can do my best, become the bestest me ever and somehow, that piece of life with heads over heels love, trust and fidelity will elude me.

every time it snows, i become a romantic. it’s bizarre but kinda sweet.

what i want and what i need may be two different things.

It’s scary and I have to go lie down now.

and the last #cheesysongoftheday for 2012 is….


Cheesy Song of the Day, December 31:

‘Feel Again’ One Republic

In the beginning, I was gutted and fucked up. Heartbroken. Depressed. Angry.

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That was my mental state on January 1, 2012.  I have so much to say but don’t know how to say it yet.

Even all the tears I shed….

Small scream

Small scream (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Cheesy Song of the Day, December 11:
‘Memory Chest’ Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

I apologize — I have missed some cheesy songs selections.  They are selected — I’ve just been busy with work stuff to do the posting. I promise to post them all before 2012 comes to a definitive close.  I heard today’s Cheesy Song on a Classic R&B radio channel and my gut is saying I heard it at the right time. Pause for a moment of hardcore bloggus narcissisus.

As I was reviewing the events and song selections of the past 11 months,  I started to feel that my subconscious self (?) selected songs that provided a safe, distancing buffer for how emotionally devastated I was (and in some ways) still am. A cushion for my heart. Dianne Reeves ‘Company’ comes to mind.   I selected it in February at a particularly low point, but I listened to it today and it’s meaning for me became a little bit clearer.
I’ve been carrying a lot of fear that was dressed up to look like cosy comfortable company.  Now that I know the fear is the fear, what do I do? Especially if it’s not so eager to jump into the memory chest?

What’s YOUR Cheesy Song of the Day?

one thing leads to another, too late to run for cover….


security blanket cheesy song of the day

Cheesy Song of the Day, July 20:

Too Close For ComfortSammy Davis Jr.

I select the song because my emotions are too close for comfort. Anxiety, insecurity, doubt, worry, fear, more anxiety are all at the surface and I want to shake them off.  For good. But that’s not life, right?  In my rational mind, I know that my feelings aren’t facts, just temporary phases.  But in my emotional vulnerable needy mind, I just want a security blanket.

What’s YOUR Cheesy Song of the Day?

Pic via.

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore…


Cheesy Song of the Day, May 23: ‘The FearLily Allen

She said it all.